he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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