is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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