Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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