we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
