i don't like sucking hair
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
