I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
