You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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