Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I didn't shave. On purpose
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
