Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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