Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
