roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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