he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize