Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
