All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
