Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
