I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you would pick up someone in the library
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize