at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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