I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
