guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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