Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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