you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
