Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
