So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
