In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize