You just made me feel so damn special
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
