Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
