The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
