YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
