I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
