I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Boobs speak an international language.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
