hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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