We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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