Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
