She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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