dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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