she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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