This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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