They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
