tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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