we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
