i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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