oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
