she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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