Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize