Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
