Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
