So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize