You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
