with your own penis?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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