He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Mom said you looked used
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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