smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
