member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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