I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
