this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
