He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
