OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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