Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
