Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
