ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
